There were a boy and a girl. They seemed to know each other, but didn’t exchange a single word as he walked past her.
The place where they were standing wasn’t exactly defined – was there actually a scenery at all?
The poor girl felt anxious. She started looking after the boy, but despite doing that he wouldn’t either react nor turn around to look back. Except at this day. She took a few steps in his direction until he turned around and looked back at her. His expression had exhaustion written all over his face – he walked back to the girl.
“What is it that you want to tell me all this time?” he asked.
“After all this time, I couldn’t stand it any longer without you.” replied the girl. She didn’t show any tears, but her voice was full of sorrow as she talked.
While he tried to answer her reply with a simple embrace, she didn’t let him get close. “Yeah.. You’re right.”
“You’re lying. Why haven’t you returned sooner to tell me this. It’s too late. I gave you enough time to come back… it’s too late now.”
Although I don’t know why I had this dream last night, I know what it’s supposed to be related to. And I know it very well. It was incredibly short, yet felt so incredibly real that it creeped me. The way half of my sleep was stolen due to this dream was awful.
After thinking about this during school, I felt disgusted of myself, having difficulties in figuring out if this really has any further meaning to me. The disgust came from the fact that I actually had this sort of dream where I cried for someone who was already gone… long ago.
Now it’s almost one year since the loss of a person dear to me. The hard times I’ve been going through as aftermath for that event now has paid off. I’m getting away from all that. Slowly and painlessly the memories are becoming all blurred that they’ve lost the value they had until some months ago, the one that made me want to seal them somewhere away as a text – but this now is never going to happen.
I thought I was the one who lost amongst us.. but as soon as I remembered all the offensive things I told him in the past as a revenge.. I recognized that I actually tried enough.
I wanted him to receive a proper retribution from what it’s called ‘fate’ – which indeed happened. What I first considered as the worst thing happening now looks like a victory for me.
I’ve won in many aspects. Even if we’ll probably be on the same graduation ceremony next summer, I’ve still won. This whole thing is finally getting to the end, without me wishing back anything from there.
This dream has likely showed me doing something that will never happen in the real world – drawing the final stroke. I don’t have any regrets left.
